Only if I could bring a smile!

I believe I am not alone. Most of us want to lend a hand; we want to make a difference; we want to leave this world a better place when we go. When there are so many of us who think alike, why isn't this world a better place already? why does anybody die of hunger? Have you heard of any child not pursuing his/her dreams because of lack of support? Does that bother you at all? If it does, what are you doing about it?

Bible says one must tithe 10% of his earnings to the needy. But do all who preach or follow bible tithe? Giving 10% percent would surely have an impact on ones lives. Vacations would need to be scaled back, new furniture would have to wait. It would be a huge amount. It is painful but is it worth it?

Of course, there are many who are doing their duties silently. And there are many who don't know where and when to start it. I belong to the later category; We are among the people who doubt before giving a ten rupees note to a child on the road but would not think twice before spending hundred bucks for a cup of coffee in a cafe. But I am certain there is hope left in us; I say this because we do feel sorry at the end of the day for not helping that kid we met on the road. It's just the first step that we need to take!

If I want to be a millionaire in order to start giving, the day might never come; Here, I am not doubting the fact that I will be a millionaire someday (did i just say that?), but I doubt if I will be able to give when I am a millionaire; If I don't start giving today, I might never do it. It's a risk I am not willing to take. I cannot regret at the end of my life that I missed the golden opportunity to make someone smile!

Success tastes good!

Today, I went on a luncheon with the Director, the Manager of Compliance Consultants Sr and the Program Manager of my project. It was a thank you lunch, invitation read "Rashmi has proven time and again what an awesome partner she and TCS are to CCS and WKFS. This luncheon is to thank Rashmi and TCS for everything they've done for us on the JPMC project!" Bob, my product manager said "Rashmi is my top candidate for the “cloning” award, because if I could I would have an entire team of members who were as committed and selfless as Rashmi." There were 15 or more mails floating around praising Rashmi. I wish I could record these moments when I feel that I ain't nobody! Ohh, if you were wondering who Rashmi is, well its me!!

Writing this blog today is an effort to lock this moment in my memory (I do suffer from short term memory loss).

However small this success was, believe me when I say it did not come easy. A friend of mine says achievements' are never small or big. They are achievements!! I never thought of this moment when I worked all through the night. I just could not sleep. I can never sleep when I have unfinished work. Call me a workaholic! I need the satisfaction of having done my best to sleep tight. Its been nine months since this project started and I did give my best. My best included numerous sleepless nights and weekends. There were days when I hardly slept or spoke to anybody. If you call closing my eyes for an hour or two as sleeping, then yes I did sleep!  If you consider speaking to your PM at 12 AM or offshore calls till 3/4 AM, then yes I had spoken a lot those days. I was managing multiple customers, working for nearly 80 hours a week. It was taking a toll on my personal life too. But every time I completed a so called "impossible" task, it was sheer joy. I wish I could have recorded each of those moments. But memories fade and there I go again, who am I anyways?

Did you notice the number of times letter "I" was used in this blog?

How do you wish to celebrate your B'day?

For some, birthday is just another day. And for many it's a day to feel special and get all the attention one can afford. Have you ever thought what would be the best way to celebrate this day?

How about spending it with your mom and present her with some nice gift? This sounded very meaningful to me, wow! I must have caused her so much pain all my life yet she is the one who makes me feel special the most (Father India gives her a tough competition in this regard !!) God, I love them so much...

Send yourself a card. A few days or weeks before your birthday find a card you love, sign it and write yourself a note. Then address and stamp the envelope and ask someone to mail it to you a couple of days before your birthday. This is a great way to guarantee a card, and I promise it will make you smile.

Go shopping!! I'm sure you have thought of this one already.

Go on a weekend trip, do some new and exciting adventures/sports! Wish I could make it to amazon forests some day, not alone of course..

Go out with family or close friends to your favorite restaurant (tried and tested over the ages with guaranteed results)!!

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none - William Shakespeare.

What is love? It is one of the most difficult questions for the mankind. Is it what happens in a moment or what grows in a life time? Is it wrong to go for your best friend if he/she says they love you (Obviously you are not sure of it as you don't know what love is), hoping you will love them someday soon; or say you will know what love is?

An ancient proverb says love is a high form of tolerance. Yeah, that must be love to take any s*** from some body and not even realize that it is in fact s***! Love must be blind..

They say love is nothing but intense feeling of care. Why is it so difficult for few to feel the intensity of anything? May be power of detachment is greater than power of attachment for them. Sometimes it does make you doubt if you are in fact a "wall". That's different, there are times when you hoped you were a wall; To feel nothing must be a great state to reach!! And when you actually feel like a wall you doubt your very own existence.

Then a thought comes why do you have to make a decision? Why is it so necessary to make it now? They say time waits for none. They say you are getting old and its about time. Oh, boy! lets not talk about that; now that I am turning ** in next 60 mins!!! Wouldn't it be wonderful to let things happen than take a conscious decision (at least the ones related to heart if there are any)? Well, you don't decide to make friends with anybody, do you? You don't ask someone if they want to be your friend. You just be their friend. To me, friendship just happens!! Never planned it.

It may take years..it may be too late when I feel it. But I am certain I will feel it someday..so strong that I will have no time to think about any thing else or any one else. I did not mean that I think of any one else today. Its just that I don't think of "nobody". Or say I have so much to think of that I don't know if I should even think... hmmm, I am going to be a heck of a writer. There will be so much light that you would wonder if it was dark ever :)